Why is silent, and why this is actually a good thing. When you hear that men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, which is often the public is that women love to talk and communicate, while men prefer not to. It is one of the most fundamental differences between the sexes - and it's what drives most people crazy.
"All he wants to do is talk about our" feelings "!" men complain to their friends. Meanwhile, women complain to their friends: "I will talk about their feelings!" Is there no middle ground here? For women, it seems obvious that you would like to discuss emotional problems. Otherwise, how will you know what the other person thinks? And speaking of things helps you understand and feel better about them. So why would you be silent?
This line of logical reasoning - for women. But men's minds work differently. They just are not wired the same way as women.
Many studies have shown that men respond to the emotions physically stronger than women. Your blood pressure rises, heart racing, and it takes a lot more for your body back to normal once the crisis is over what it does for women. For this reason, the brains of men unconsciously ask that you stay away from strong emotions - because it is physically dangerous.
A study on children showed that children were faster to make a recording of a crying baby girls. Why? Because children are not immune, but because they were more upset. The children were actually more sensitive to strong feelings, not less. And therefore they avoid it. It has been shown that the elderly are more likely to die soon after the loss of a spouse - a "death penalty", as they say - that older women are, after losing his. Physically speaking, the murderers of more emotional problems.
Women often want to ask a man: "What do you think?" When it is calm. They assume that because they keep quiet when they are in trouble, is in the same way with men. But there are at least not necessarily. Men as calm thinking to a problem, developing a solution to something. This does not mean that something is "bad." It just means they are working on something, sometimes something shocking and traumatic . The women talk your way through problems, people think their way through.
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Men talk, of course. Get with your friends and talk all the time - sports, cars, movies, video games, TV shows, whatever. But his feelings. They get their feelings and repressed aggression through games and camaraderie, not through chat sessions cathartic. But even strong men, stoic understand (or should understand) that communication is key in any relationship. Must be prepared to talk about things you need to talk. The key to that is open for drop at their own pace.
The spirit of women focus on feelings, while men focus on problem solving. Therefore, if there is an emotional issue that needs discussion, instead of saying, "How do you feel?" Or say how you feel, you could do better phrase as a solution: "We will find a way to deal with this "or" What if we do that? "
A good time to refer to emotional problems is when you are relaxed and comfortable and is not otherwise occupied. This last point is important. Relaxed and comfortable when you watch a football game on TV, but certainly not the time to stop this kind of conversation. Wait until the fun in the garage, doing nothing in particular, or perhaps when you are next to a walk casually.
Like so many issues to deal with men, it is important not to put pressure on him. If it feels like you handle the talk about his feelings, he will be silent. So do not set up "meetings". Do not say: "We need to talk." (Ask any man These are the four most feared words in the English language.) Instead, arrange a situation in which two have to speak will be possible - going out to dinner, take a Sunday drive, etc. So if the conversation turns to the topics you would like to chat, is a natural evolution, not a program.
Above all, you must accept that men are different from women - and that's good. Just because you tend to do something one way does not mean that it is the "right" way. For men to be themselves. When you feel relaxed and confident, you may be surprised by the things I say.
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